Comments for Selma Khan

Comment on 15 signs your mother is narcissistic and how you can heal by Porscha

Porscha — Tue, 22 Apr 2025 11:15:13 +0000

This was an excellent article, I feel like I just read my entire life’s experience with my own narcissist mother. I feel so validated and so eager to keep reading each sentence. I kept saying yes. That’s exactly what happened to me. That’s exactly how I felt. Thank you so much for helping me to see that I’m not alone. I have been no contact with my mother for 11 years now and I am so happy now. Healing is possible. But I do come back to read these articles regularly because I’m an empathetic person. Naturally those old feelings can start to creep up and I have to remind myself of who I was dealing with and who I really am and it always helps me.

Comment on 15 signs your mother is narcissistic and how you can heal by Kristen miller

Kristen miller — Thu, 20 Mar 2025 20:12:25 +0000

I have a narcissistic mom i cut her off last january so it’s been a little over a year and still trying to find ways to navigate the holiday in a healthy way with my own kids any ideas on how to cope would be helpful. Thanks ??

Comment on 13 signs your relationship with your mom is toxic and enmeshed by Sullivan

Sullivan — Thu, 23 Jan 2025 04:51:49 +0000

After reading this, I felt a whirlwind of emotions. To feel seen, validated and finally understood was so refreshing. I’m bordering a move that will take me over 3,000 miles from my mother, and the entire situation is causing increased tension and feelings of guilt. I’m 27 years old. I feel like a prisoner at home. I’m exhausted. Tonight, reading this, has allowed me to finally feel like I’m not the problem. I’m not a bad daughter. Thank you, truly, for this article. Thank you!

Comment on 13 signs your relationship with your mom is toxic and enmeshed by Selma Khan

Selma Khan — Fri, 12 Jul 2024 11:56:14 +0000

In reply to Daughter.

Hi, I’m sorry you could identify with so many signs in this article. I understand that must be painful but maybe a bit liberating as well?
I’m glad you felt seen and validated, you are very welcome. You should be proud of your achievement, that’s really incredible! It makes sense that you would have mixed feelings about leaving though because of the enmeshment between you and the inevitable guilt she will give you. If you would like to heal from enmeshment trauma, I am happy to offer you one free session online with me. If not, I hope you find healing with another trauma therapist because trauma therapy, specifically Internal family systems therapy (IFS) is truly one of the most effective treatments out there today to heal from both enmeshment trauma and narcissistic abuse, really, all forms of complex trauma. Thank you for your comment. Sending you a lot of compassion and courage, you get to make your life about you now, it is high time.

Comment on 13 signs your relationship with your mom is toxic and enmeshed by Daughter

Daughter — Thu, 20 Jun 2024 17:44:07 +0000

Agree with previous comment, just WOW! I also identified with almost all of them. I knew that my mother is emotionally immature but I haven’t read so much on enmeshment before and I feel so seen and validated reading your article – thank you so much. I just got accepted as a PhD student in another country and of course my mother cannot be happy for me because it will be sad for her. It is always about her. I am also mid-life and have realized the last three years maybe just how unhealthy my relationship, or should I say my mothers relationship with me, is. Again, thank you for this, I will save it.

Comment on 13 signs your relationship with your mom is toxic and enmeshed by Selma Khan

Selma Khan — Sat, 08 Jun 2024 11:25:21 +0000

In reply to V2M. Sorry to hear that you can identify with almost all of the signs. That must be really difficult to realize and at the same time perhaps it is also liberating in some way? You're right, the numbness and disconnect are survival skills, we also call them "parts" of yourself in Internal family systems therapy language. I'm glad you liked the article and thank you for your comment.

Comment on 13 signs your relationship with your mom is toxic and enmeshed by V2M

V2M — Fri, 24 May 2024 01:02:11 +0000

Just WOW…can quite easily (& sadly) identify with almost every single one of these examples with the exception of only a couple. Both scary & exhausting just at the momentary self-acknowledgement of how deep the toxicity runs. Lots of mid-life awareness surfacing last several years of my emotional “numbness” & disconnect, an acquired & unintentional survival skill/curse I suppose. Thank you for the amazing insight.

Comment on 14 Signs Your Partner is Enmeshed with his Mom by Selma Khan

Selma Khan — Sun, 31 Mar 2024 08:33:36 +0000

In reply to John Young.

Hi John,

I apologize for the delayed response! I somehow missed your comment until now. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. To answer your question, yes, enmeshment and parentification always coexist. Additionally, narcissistic behavior is commonly seen with these dynamics. Enmeshed parents tend to use their children to fulfill their needs, rather than the other way around. This, coupled with control and manipulation, is also how narcissistic abuse looks like. I’m sorry to hear that your wife is placing the blame solely on you. While parents certainly share responsibility for their children’s well-being, when manipulation and abuse are present, it gets complicated. This seems to be your case, John, and seeing clearly what’s going on is not easy when someone is deliberately gaslighting you (changing your reality).

Yes, you can absolutely get the tools and strategies in therapy, but our main focus in trauma therapy is to heal the parts in you that get triggered dealing with this situation. Once that begins to happen, shifts will naturally occur as you gain more clarity in your mind on what to do and say. You are welcome to contact me for a free 60 minute session to get a feel of working together and trying out IFS therapy.

I hope this was helpful John,

Regards
Selma

Comment on 14 Signs Your Partner is Enmeshed with his Mom by John Young

John Young — Mon, 26 Feb 2024 23:42:03 +0000

Your article on Enmeshment could have been written by me, if I were aware that the term existed. I plan to book an initial session with you. However, I have a question first.
Is it possible that Enmeshment can coexist with Parentification?
My wife and her 22 y/o daughter strongly exhibit every characteristic in your article with a variation. With rare exception my wife seems to be the “beta” seeking the constant validation of her “alpha” daughter, while at the same time they are deeply enmeshed in every single facet of their lives.
My wife is 100% convinced that I am 100% of the problem. Would I be able to acquire tools and strategies through your counselling if she did not participate?
This situation is driving me insane and quite frankly, killing our marriage.

Comment on 13 signs your relationship with your mom is toxic and enmeshed by jhildavetaylor

jhildavetaylor — Sat, 28 Oct 2023 21:52:04 +0000

Great article, thank you very much.