Recently, many of my family members have discovered my blog and that I’m actually capable of writing. LOL. Apparently some of them opine that what I’m doing is a waste of time and they also wonder ‘who would care enough to actually read it’.

Unfortunately for them, we are proud to say that only during our first month of taking the blog live, we have successfully and I’d add most humbly, registered over 1400 readers. We are extremely honored and proud of this. We also have gotten 17 subscribers this far and been published on two different platforms online, without reaching out to them. Via Sunnyskyz, an online portal sharing positive and inspirational stories, we have reached over two thousand readers across two articles with over 150 shares. I’m particularly proud of my article, ‘11 ways to heal Depression’, which has been extremely well received and I’m touched that readers have been able to relate to my story and even find hope in tackling the area of depression. We have received wonderful comments and I’ve also received personal emails from people seeking advice. Now, I’m not saying this to be arrogant. I’m saying it because I feel blessed to having found a platform to reach out and inspire people. So ya, a big big Thank You to all of our readers and we can’t make enough of it in letting you know how much we appreciate you for taking the time to read and share feedback.

Getting back. I’ve also gotten to hear that I ought to be ashamed of myself for sharing personal things on a public platform. It will bring shame to the family. Funny thing about this opinion though is that most of these people don’t even understand half of what I write since they aren’t very good at English. But, that doesn’t seem to stop them from judging what I have to say on my blog. I will not apologize for who I am and definitely never apologize for trying to help people better their lives. And you should never apologize for who you are either. If others feel uncomfortable because you don’t fit in their box, that’s their problem; not yours.

Do you know someone who harasses you for doing something you are passionate about? Or have your ideas or dreams ever gotten rejected by people? Do you get told how “You can’t do that” or “You need to change or else everyone will leave you”? Or maybe you are afraid of putting yourself out there in terms of trying something new, standing up for yourself or just being you? If you are finding it hard to stay positive amidst so much negativity we all are exposed to, this article is for you.

Sometimes I wonder how I have ever been able to be happy, being surrounded with highly irrational, mean and discouraging people. But I believe I found the answer to that. I found that the more I learned how to accept myself for who I am, the easier it got to accept everyone else for whom they are. And that has brought me closer to happiness than I ever could have by resisting them and their personalities. But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel like arguing against their completely unreasonable accusations and assumptions. It does feel good to answer such statements at times, but I try not to engage in it too much.

We all want to be happier but many of us don’t think about what it means to be happy? For me happiness is feeling comfortable with whom I am, trying to make a difference by writing this blog and sharing what I think can help others. I can also feel happy when I see a flower blooming or when I hear a child laugh. What does happiness mean to you?

The following advice is what I have learnt from my personal experience (the hard way) about how to be happy and how to stay happy amongst negative people.

1. Surround yourself with POSITIVE people. I have found that consciously calling up friends and/ or relatives whom you know are positive, happy and overall easy to be with can be a great way of feeling happier. If you don’t have those luxuries then I try seeking out people near your area, such as positive events/ seminars where you can meet like-minded people. I feel meet-up events are a great way to be in environments which you want to be in. Make new friends here and build a network of positive people.
2. Get out of negative relationships and environments. This one was the hardest for me to do and I think it’s the same for most people. But I believe that if you are surrounded by negative people who are deeply unhappy about their lives and life in general, it will affect you in a negative way. Like Jim Rohn says “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with”. You will slowly but steadily also feel unhappy about your life, the more time you spend with them. Or you might start getting unwanted negative thoughts. If you can’t get out of negative relationships, than try to at least spend less time there, for a start.
3. Don’t get involved in negative conversations. Let’s say you have a job where your colleagues are predominantly negative. Now most of us can’t just quit our jobs ‘just like that’ even though I would actually dare to recommend that in some cases. But what we can do is not get involved in peoples negative gossips. Some just love to offload their frustrations in life onto others, without realizing how much that can drain the other person’s energy. One day they are in a good mood, another day they are angry and agitated and they are just dying to tell you their entire story. My advice is to stay away as much as you possibly can.
4. Learn how to say No. This is especially difficult if you are one of those who love to help people who seem to be in need. You need to learn to say no to people even if it feels really hard to do. Negative people have a way of dragging others into their pool of pity. It’s one thing to ask for advice from someone and then actually work for a solution to your problems. But it’s another thing to keep whining about the same issues, yet never taking responsibility and do something about it. I have found that saying No can be a great way to live a happier life. Tell them no, ‘I have to work’ or ‘I am really busy at the moment’. Hopefully they will get the hint. If not, you can also tell them ‘I understand that this is bothering you, but this is your life and therefore you are responsible. So what are you going to do about it?’ This might sound strict, but you may well be doing them and yourself a Big Favor. (You can also read more on this in my article, How to say no even if it makes you feel guilty).
5. Practice being happy. Happiness is a practice. This might sound weird but if you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. Rich people talk about wealth, healthy people talk about health and happy people talk about happiness or everything and anything that makes them happy. So I now practice happiness by scheduling things that makes me feel happy. For example spending time with my husband, long walks in nature, playing the piano, watching a movie, writing etc. What makes you feel happy?
6. Eliminate ALL excuses and limitations. Do you often find yourself saying something like this? “If only I got that job I would be so happy” or “When I buy that house I will be happy” or “I need to complete a lot of things before I can be happy.” If you find yourself doing this to yourself, you MUST stop IMMEDIATELY. This way of thinking will only keep you feeling unhappy because you are constantly talking yourself into why you cannot be happy right now. When right now is all we have. So you should start looking for things you are happy about IN THIS MOMENT. This brings us to our next point.
7. Show gratitude. How often do you feel thankful during the course of a day? If not so many, it’s a good thing to start thinking of how much you have to be grateful for. According to this article, Gratitude and Well Being, being grateful is a great way to start feeling happier about life. Gratitude allows us to focus on what we have instead of what we lack. And the best part is that it’s in our control to be grateful for what we have. Things I like to be thankful for are all of my functioning senses, my home, family, my health and so much more.
   
8. Accepting your negative feelings and thoughts. This might sound weird but it’s something I have found to have worked for me and I actually find myself doing it almost daily. Whenever I feel frustrated, angry, sad or other kind of emotions that makes me suffer, I accept those feelings. I let them be there, allow myself to feel it all for a moment and almost instantly I feel better. If I on the other hand try to avoid or even worse, ignore my suffering I don’t feel at peace until I have dealt with my emotions.
   
9. You can only give to others that what you have. Meaning, people who criticize, harass, bully and discourage are sadly often doing the same to themselves. So their conversation with themselves is usually very negative and discouraging. I would like to recommend a beautiful movie on this called ‘Peaceful Warrior’. One of my absolute favorite movies, which I can never get enough off. If people, who are ‘supposed’ to love and support us, don’t really support and love themselves, how can we expect them to give to us something they don’t have?
   
10. Have compassion. Despite of it being very hard to show compassion towards people who are trying to bring you down, if you find it in you to do so, you are the winner. It could maybe go hand in hand on accepting people for who they are. We might not respect their destructive and hurtful behavior, but we can try to understand that they all are doing the best they can out of what they know to be true. From that stand point we are all the same. “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion” ? Dalai Lama XIV, The Art of Happiness.
11. Outshine the negativity. Recollect a time, when you have been in a bad mood and someone around you was so darn happy and positive, it just made you feel better. So much so, that before you knew it, you were smiling too. So instead of letting negative people overwhelm you with their cynicism, fear and bad attitude, you can allow yourself to feel happy and shed your light onto them. This will allow them to either join you or choose not to. Either way, you should never let your smile fade because of guilt of being happy amidst unhappy people.

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Choose to be happy,

Selma

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