Hi,

If you are here, it means you’re looking for answers and seeking help in tackling depression. Firstly I want to acknowledge your bravery for doing so. I know how hard that can be.

I’m a life coach and have been helping people to heal from depression before. I’ve suffered from depression myself throughout my teenage life and up into my twenties. I know how it feels, I’ve even experienced the awful feeling of being suicidal. If you would like to try out coaching with me I would love to hear from you, click here to get in touch with me and you can also read what my clients say about me (here) to get an idea of who I am and how I work. in either case I would highly recommend you don’t go through this alone. Contact a professional or someone who you feel safe enough to talk to, don’t isolate yourself. You can also read my article on 11 ways to heal depression which should be very helpful to you.

Do you feel crippled by thoughts of “What if”? What exactly do those thoughts tell you? Could it be something like “What if I fail? What if I’ll always be alone? What if I’ll never feel happy?”

If these questions creep up in your mind constantly, you’re not alone. Thoughts like these can make you feel paralyzed and completely out of control.

Usually there is something that triggers you to feel down, depressed and even suicidal. Something that happened, that felt too stressful and overwhelming to deal with. It could also have been a traumatic experience. This certainly doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you for feeling depressed or that you’re weak for not being able to cope with it. It just means you are human like the rest of us.

You need time to heal from what has happened and depression is a way to cope and come to terms with it. When something great happens you feel happy and exhilarated for days, weeks and sometimes even months, no one will judge you for that. Likewise, if something bad happens, you should not judge yourself at all for feeling sad, hurt or whatever else you’re feeling for however long. Take your time to heal.

There’re times when you might feel like drinking alcohol to numb the pain and help you get some sleep. I can completely understand this. Sometimes the thoughts and chattering in our minds just feel completely overwhelming. Alcohol can act as a magic potion that removes the fear and anxiety. The only problem with this is the long term consequences it can have on your health and mind, and if you drink too often it can become an addiction. And besides, alcohol can only act as a temporary fix to your anxiety.

I don’t want you to be harmed in any way and I want you to find a better way to cope with your anxiety and depression.  Which is why, I suggest, trying out something that doesn’t involve alcohol or other destructive habits. What you could do instead if something more positive like deep breathing, taking a walk, writing down your thoughts, listening to some calming music or something else that makes you feel calm and helps you fall asleep.

If you’re feeling concerned about the future, I understand that and it’s completely normal. I remember my own fears of the future and even the present, when I was depressed. It used to feel like nothing will ever get better. I also felt lost and confused. Sometimes that’s where we are in life. Maybe you are confused, lost and scared. But you know what, it’s ok to be.

Truth is, no one has it all figured out and everyone’s scared in one way or the other. But sometimes the fear can become so real and so overwhelming that it stops you from living your life. Things like not being able to sleep, loss of appetite, not feeling motivated to do anything.

I remember I used to feel the need to hide at work sometimes. I needed to find some place alone to collect my thoughts, breathe or just cry. If you have felt the need to hide from the world and everything that’s going on I can tell you one thing, you are not alone.

And guess what, that’s ok too because it’s a part of your healing process.

One thing I learned from my therapist that helped me a lot was to realize that the thoughts that come up in your mind are just thoughts.

You can listen, acknowledge the thought and say (out loud or within) “Ok thought, I hear you, and I appreciate your input, but I have to work right now and I will deal with you later.” I know this might sound weird but it’s kind of cool. Try it and see for yourself.

Imagine putting the thought in your hand, to separate it from you, because you are not your thoughts. Strategies for dealing with anxiety, fear and other challenges are many. But I don’t want to overwhelm you with those. What I will tell you to try though is this. Something relatively easy but can give you peace of mind, calm and inner healing.

• Sitdown quietly, preferably every morning to meditate. (I’m not an expert at meditation)
• Listen to the thoughts that come up to you and do absolutely nothing with them. Don’t judge. Don’t take it personally. Just try to stay calm and listen. Breathe if you feel anxious, breathe deeply and fully (your belly should expand).
• I used to put on some music like nature sounds (water), and then just sit quietly and explore what was going on deep within my mind.

Sometimes just listening to your thoughts can be a tremendous help, because most of us are too busy trying to silence our thoughts and feelings instead of just hearing them out. Suppressing feelings that come up will just make you feel worse in the long run. Letting yourself feel hurt, sad, angry will feel bad only for a short moment but you will feel better afterwards. It feels like a weight is lifted off of your chest.

Gradually this will help you hear your own voice, after all the chattering is done. You’ll realize with time that your fears and negative thoughts aren’t real. In the beginning I recommend you to try this for 5 minutes. After about a week of doing this every day, you can increase to 10 minutes. Slowly but steadily try moving towards 15-30 minutes.

You need peace of mind to sleep. You need peace of mind to help you through the day. You need it to stay healthy and happy. And that takes some practice, little bit every day. This could be a way for you to feel better. Being sad or depressed is ok and it’s also ok to do some of these exercises to feel even a tiny bit of peace.

Again I want to thank you for reaching out. By reading this, you’re doing exactly that. I really appreciate you for that and I think you are very courageous in looking for answers. And please remember, you are not alone, you matter and are important even if you might not feel that right now. There is always a way to feel better and countless of ways to get there. I hope my advice will help you, even if it’s a tiny bit.

Leave a comment below and share your story, ask a question or just say hi. Because I would love to hear from you!

If you want me to answer any question that you might have for me, you can always email me by clicking on the contact button. I usually answer within 1-2 days. 

Take good care of yourself.

Much love,

Selma

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