Emotional Wisdom

Dealing with Failure

If you just want to learn how to deal with failure from a list of things to do than you might just scroll down this page and get the content right away. If not, then I would like to get into the more interesting part which I think we all need to understand more of.

And that is the fact that failure in itself is just a word we have made up that is supposed to mean something like “the opposite of success”. I think that’s a fair enough definition to this word.

What I don’t understand though is why we feel that fail-ing and fail-ure Is the same thing. When you or I fail at something it doesn’t mean we are failures and can never succeed again. It just means we failed this particular time trying something. And so I think it’s important to understand that distinction before jumping into how to deal with failure or rather failing.

I just recently finished seeing a documentary about the world renowned scientist Einstein and his life story. I could not believe my ears when they said in the documentary how Einstein felt like a “failure” and actually sent a letter to his mother and father saying “It would have been better if I wasn’t born”.

All this he said because apparently people thought he was “weird” and no one was ready giving him a job! What a waste it would have been if he actually wouldn’t have been born!

Not only that, it took him nearly a decade to prove his theory of relativity correct. Not to mention in the middle of trying to prove his theory, World War I broke loose in Europe which in turn jeopardized his entire expedition.

What does Einstein’s story have to do with your concern about failing or being a failure?

Everything. There are many lessons we can learn from this story, not only this story but countless others like it. You might even remember a time in your own life where you have fought through what felt like the hardest of challenges in the most impossible situation. Where you turned the impossible into the possible and I’m not here to tell you anything new I’m just here to remind you what you already know. I also need the reminder at times which is why I like to keep listening and watching stories of people faced with many challenges that are unimaginable to many of us today.

  1. Remember that failure can be the exact same thing as a result. That way of thinking is way more beneficial to you and will help you find other ways to get what you want to create a different result. So you want to keep trying different ways to get a specific result.
  2. Equip yourself with the right knowledge. If you believe you can benefit from studying or doing research to achieving your goal than get cracking. Take the necessary action that’s needed even if that means you have to wake up earlier or skip some not so important activities to achieve your goal.
  3. Don’t care about others judgment. The only thing that truly matters is what you think of yourself. If you think that by trying something new and failing people are going to judge you, you are right because they will. But you can be damn sure that they are judging you for not trying as well or something else for that matter. Only because you don’t know about it doesn’t mean people aren’t judging you ALL THE TIME. That’s what most of us do, we are all humans. So go for what you want to do because like it or not you are going to be judged no matter what you do or don’t do.
  4. Count the times you have succeeded despite of the circumstances. Remember all the times in the past that you have succeeded no matter how difficult it seemed to be. You made a way, you found the solution and you made it happen. That just proves you have the skill and the necessary tools in you to succeed.
  5. What can you learn from your failure? It always comes with a lesson if you are willing to ask yourself the question. The lesson is usually priceless because you can use it to do better next time.
  6. Praise yourself for what you did right.
  7. Listen to the song “eye of the tiger”. That’s right. Get pumped up instead of indulging in self pity. Use the anger, fear, hurt, embarrassment, shame or whatever you are feeling as a fuel to become stronger and greater than ever before and don’t let your mind spiral into negative thinking by criticizing yourself and the choices/choice you made or how you wish you had done it differently. This will only keep you stuck in one place. Listening to a song which motivates you will help you immediately to get out of an un-resourceful state of mind.

These things might sound pretty basic and simple and I know we like to complicate things but I’m all about making things as simple as possible and I like to believe most of us are so lost today because we have forgotten the impact that simplicity can have in our lives.

For example we both know that what we call failure, setbacks, challenges, problems, call them whatever you want are here to stay. How many of us despite knowing this for a fact ever bother to make a list of things we can do to feel better? And even if we have a list like the one you see above, how often do we actually use it? The reason why life feels complicated for us all sometimes is because we forget to use the simplest things that life has to offer, that’s what I truly believe.

Therefore I think it’s better to learn how to deal with failure or problems every single time they show up rather than trying to run away from them. What’s worse is that some people put their entire magnificent dreams on hold until it’s too late to fulfill them any longer. And we do this because of failing too many times (or even one time for many), and that’s a tragedy we must do everything in our power from happening. Don’t ever put your dream on hold because of failure. You are not a failure, you have unlimited amounts of genius in you, we all do, it’s just a matter of believing in it and doing everything you possibly can to fight for your dreams and beliefs. Don’t ever give up. Keep fighting, keep standing up no matter how many times you fall, that’s true courage and with courage we can achieve and have anything we want.

Thank you for reading! I really hope you found this post helpful. If you like this post, please share it with your friends and family. And make sure you subscribe to our newsletters to get updates on new content.

Choose to be happy,

Selma

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